


Wounded

by sapphicfromnextdoor



Category: The L Word (TV 2004), The L Word: Generation Q (TV)
Genre: F/F, Tibette
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:40:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26006611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphicfromnextdoor/pseuds/sapphicfromnextdoor
Summary: After losing the election Bette is attacked at her own front door, Tina flies back in from New York to help Angie and Bette heal both physically and mentally.
Relationships: Tina Kennard/Bette Porter
Comments: 36
Kudos: 54





	1. Chapter 1

After the news broke announcing that Jeff Milner won Bette’s election, she immediately received phone calls from people offering their condolences. Bette appreciated the intentions behind the calls, but people acted as if she were mourning someone’s passing. Even though Bette lost the election, that didn’t mean Kit’s death couldn’t be honored in another way, meaning the fight wasn’t over, and there isn’t a reason to mourn. These calls poured in for weeks even from people she hadn’t heard from in years, like her former boss Phyllis and her wife Joyce, even Tim reached out. After a few weeks, the calls slowed down and eventually came to a stop, for which Bette was grateful.

Bette thought about a way to sever the community while also getting back to work. After finding out Milner’s job offer was nothing more than a gimmick to keep her quiet and busy, she quickly declined it. She considered reaching out to Kelly Wentworth and asking to get back into the gallery business but decided against it. Their working relationship didn’t end on the best of terms. 

Bette could open her own gallery if she reconnected with the right people and got the funding, but that didn’t fulfill the desire she had to help people like Kit, addicts. She wanted to start a community center that focused on improving the community, which could also be used partly as a rehabilitation and treatment center for those struggling with addiction. Bette had this grand idea that there could be a small gallery and art bought through it could help fund the treatment center and that if some of the patients wanted to sell their artwork or any type of craft, they could. Of course, when Bette wrote her list of possible donors and people who could help make this a reality, Helena Peabody was on the list. Bette was hoping if Helena were in, she would help as a cofounder since she knew the ropes of charities and running a business.

Over dinner, Bette told her daughter her brilliant idea. “So, what do you think?” Bette waited for a response, getting nervous from the long pause from Angie, who blankly looked at her. 

“No, I’m playing.” Her blank expression changed to an excited one. “That sounds like a really good idea! Maybe Alice could promote it on her show or something too. I’d like to help in any way I can too. It would be like helping auntie Kit.”

“I would love you to help. I still have to work out the logistics and everything and see if it is even possible, but I really think it is.” Bette smiled, knowing she could do something to help with this crisis even though her initial plan as Los Angeles major didn’t work. “I’m so happy you think it can work and are on board! Tomorrow I’ll start making calls. I’ll probably start with Helena. I want to see if she would be interested in being a cofounder. Oh, I am just so happy and excited to get all of this started.” 

Bette’s phone buzzed, she quickly looked at it, sighed, and put her phone back down. 

“Who is it?” Angie gives Bette a look of concern as she takes a bite of her food.

“Uh, it was no one. So how was your day? Did you see Jordi at all?”

“Mom, I know what you are doing. Who was that?”

“Fine. It was Felicity. That’s all you are getting.” Bette’s phone buzzed again. 

“What does she want?” Bette raised her eyebrow at Angie. “Is she trying to get back together with you know that the campaign is over?”

“I am not talking to you about this; you weren’t even supposed to know about her. No one was.” Bette’s Phone buzzed again, and she took a deep breath and let out a massive sigh. “You know what, I’m just gonna put this away, and we can continue having dinner.” She got up and put her phone in the kitchen, then returned to the table. “So, are you not going to tell me about your day?”

“I guess it was pretty good. I’m still trying to get used to my new classes. Everything at this school is so different.”

“Oh, do you want to go back-”

“No, no, I mean different in a good way! I really like it. It’s just taking some getting used to. I’m so not trying to go back to those uniforms.”

After dinner, Bette and Angie watch a movie together. Some old artistic movie Bette found in her things when she and Tina moved after their divorce. About halfway threw the film, there was loud knocking on the door. 

“Was someone coming over tonight?” Angie asked, pausing the movie.

“I didn’t think so. Shane and Alice are the only ones who would just stop by, but they both have keys.” The knocking started again but harder. “Ange stay here, I’ll answer it.”

Bette got up and looked out the window. “Fucking hell.” Tyler Adams was at the door and appeared to be drunk. Bette opened the door angered; he had the nerve to show up at her door. “How dod you get through the gate?” 

“I know you are still ... talking to Felicity. I told you to stay away from her, you bitch.” Tyler’s words slurred together as he kept his finger pointed at Bette’s face.

“Is that a threat? Not that it is any of your business, but I haven’t done anything with Felicity since my campaign ended, and I’m sure you are happy with how that went. Now is there anything I can help with you with, or do you want to get your drunk ass off my property before I call the cops?” Bette watched Tyler closely, not knowing exactly what he was going to do. After everything that happened after Jordi’s play, she was slightly scared of Tyler. 

“You can help me with something!” Tyler pulls his phone out of his pocket and starts live streaming. “Look who we have here, miss Bette Porter. Aside from losing the mayoral election, what have you been up to? Sleeping with my wife?” Bette put her hands up in an attempt to shield herself from being filmed.

“Ca-can you put that away? You are clearly drunk, so can you please get off my property?”

“Oh, so you don’t like it when I invade your personal life… How… How do you think I licked it when I found out you were fucking my wife?”

“Look, my daughter is inside; she doesn’t need to see all of this. Please go home and drink some water or something.”

Tyler leans his head towards the open door. “Hey, Angelica! Did you know your mom, well not biological mom so I guess not your mom, is a fucking whore bitch?” Bette Stepped fulling outside, making Tyler step back from the door. 

“Look, Tyler, you can call me all the names you want and shit talk me to the whole town I don’t care. But what you will never do is bring my daughter into this. If you ever put your hands on her again or even come near her, I will find you. I will do so much worse to you and sleep with your wife, who, by the way, isn’t even your wife anymore, so you need to get over it and just accept the fact that you were married to a gay woman, and yes that is a threat. Now can you stop fucking recording me and go home?” Bette reached her arm out to grab the phone, but Tyler pulled a gun on her. Bette immediately took a step back and put her arms up.

“Oh, not so tuff anymore bitch! Now admit it, you are having an affair with Felicity!” Tyler kept his phone pointed at Bette with one hand and the gun with the other. 

Bette kept her hand up and shook her head. “You don’t want to do this. I already told you it ended weeks ago.”

“Admit it!”

“I would just be telling you lies,” Bette said weakly, shaking her head no.

“Fucking say it and say that you used your power on Felicity and forced her into a lesbian affair and tried to steal her from me.”

“But none of that is true.” 

“FUCK!” Tyler rested the hand, holding the weapon on his head but kept the phone pointing at Bette. “Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you! You ruined my life! Bette Porter, you ruined my life, and for that, you need to pay.” He pointed his gun back at Bette and fired twice, both shots hitting her in the stomach. 

Bette stood in shock for a moment before clenching her abdomen. She looked Tyler in the eyes, and all she saw was pure fear. He couldn’t believe he shot her, sure Tyler had thought about it a thousand times, but he never thought he’d actually commit. He dropped the gun and ran away as fast as he possibly could. The gun fired a third shot upon hitting the ground, striking Bette in her thigh, causing her to fall to the ground. 

She can tell what is going on, but she isn’t fully there, almost like an out of body experience. She can hear Angie yelling out for her and her crying, but she can’t control her body to say or do anything, she is lying there limp and helpless. Bette can see that Angie is next to her saying something, but she can’t make out what is being said.

“Uh hi, someone just shot my mom… Yeah, she is breathing… I- I think she got shot in her like her stomach or close to there, I don’t know I saw from inside… Yeah, right outside our front door… She knew him, yeah, we had an issue with him before. My mom pushed him down the stairs after my friends play. It was all in the news, my my mom is Bette Porter… I think I’m safe. He dropped his gun when he ran away… Okay, I’ll stand by the gate, so the ambulance knows where… No, I don’t have a dad, and my other mom is in New York, they are divorced… Yeah, she is still breathing. Her eyes are open and blinking and stuff, so that’s good, right?... Mom, can you hear me? They want to know if you have any difficulty breathing. Mom? She is looking at me, but she isn’t saying anything. Okay, thank you. I’ll go to the gate now. Bye.” 

Angie looks down at her mom, who hasn’t moved at all since she fell. “Mom, they are gonna be here soon, and everything will be okay. I just have to go to the gate, so they know where to come, okay? Everything will be okay.” Angie fights back the tears, but the second she walks away, they start pouring out. She decided it was best to call Tina while waiting for help. Three calls in a row ring then go to voice mail before Tina finally answers.

“Ange, you know there is a three hour time difference, right? It’s two in the morning here, and I have to be on set at six in the morning.” Angie tries to get words out, but her muffled cries hold her back. “Are you crying? Angie, what’s wrong, honey?” She tried to speak, but again nothing comes out. “Did something happen? Look if you can’t talk about it right now, you can cool off and call me tomorrow, and I’d love to talk it out with you. It’s just the middle of the night, so I rather not go back and forth trying to pull information out of you. I love you, good-”

“It- It’s b-b-b. It’s B,” Angie managed to spit out.

“What’s going on? Something with your mom?” Instead of answering, Angie starts sobbing. “Angie, what is going on? You are scaring me.” Just as Angie was about to attempt another sentence, the ambulance showed up. “Angie, is that sirens what the fuck is going on?” 

Angie kept crying, and she waved her arms for the ambulance. Two paramedics jumped out and ran to where Bette was lying on the ground and began examining her injuries. Angie didn’t move from her spot from the gate but watched closely. Everything was blocked out except the image of Bette lying on the ground bleeding into the cement walkway. She came back into it when she heard Tina yelling her name, nervously over the phone. “B got shot.” 

Tina’s nervousness quickly turned to panic, and she began asking question after question, but Angie didn’t know how to answer them or just refused. She was only sixteen. She didn’t know how to deal with everything going on. Tina stayed on the phone while the paramedics asked Angie a few questions and then helped her get in the ambulance. The whole ride she remained on the phone with Tina, but she didn’t say anything. She just stared at Bette’s now unconscious body.

At the hospital, doctors rush Bette into surgery. Angie was still on the phone with Tina, and at that point, Alice and Shane were now on the call. Shane was in the car on her way to the hospital, and Alice was stuck out of town on vacation but said she would come home the next day to be there for support then said to call her back with any updates. 

When Shane got to the hospital, she tried to talk to someone about what was going on, but no one seemed to know anything. She tried to speak with Angie, but she hadn’t said anything since the police came to question her about the night. Tina hung up to catch the next flight to Los Angeles, so Angie and Shane sat silently, waiting for any news of how Bette was doing.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been hours since Bette went into surgery, but no word on how she was doing had come out. Shane and Angie still sat in the waiting room in silence and hoped that no news yet meant that nothing had gone wrong in the operating room. At some point, Shane left to find something to eat since it was nearly four in the morning. She wasn’t hungry; she just needed an excuse to go off by herself to give her a chance to work through her emotions. Angie was only sixteen and was probably scared enough, and Shane didn’t want to upset her anymore by crying in front of her. After a few minutes, Shane found a vending machine and purchased a bag of chips and a pack of cookies. When she went back to where Angie was, she offered her some, but she refused to eat any of it. 

“Hey Angie, I know it is really scary right now, but your mom is gonna get through this. She is the strongest person I know, and you are Angelica fucking Porter-Kennard you are gonna get through this too.” Shane wrapped her arm around Angie, trying to comfort her. The two almost immediately broke out crying.

Eventually, Angie fell asleep, waiting for her mom to come out of surgery. It was for the best since she had been up since five the previous morning. Shane stayed up; she couldn’t bring herself to a relaxed enough state to sleep. Instead, she counted the tiles on the floor, then recounted them, dividing them into groups based on their colors. When she was tired of that, she counted the panels that made up the ceiling. 

“You are waiting for Bette Porter, right?” A young-looking doctor walks towards the waiting area.

“Yeah, that’s my friend and her mom,” Shane said, pointing at Angie, who was still asleep.

“She just got out of surgery. And she is stable. We want to keep her sedated for a while longer, although she may be slightly conscious. It varies from patient to patient how much they can understand or are aware in this state, but she is somewhat responsive. They are moving Ms.Porter to the ICU right now. And you will be able to see her shortly. If you go up there now, they can lead you to her room when they are ready.” Shane thanked the doctor, and they promptly walked away. 

Shane gently shook Angie, trying to wake her up. “Hey, your mom is out of surgery we can go to the ICU to see her now. I think that’s on the third floor.” Angie slowly opened her eyes and stretched.

“So, she is okay?” 

“I’m not sure how she is feeling or anything like that, but the doctor said she is stable, so I think that’s good news.” The little excitement in Angie’s face faded. “Oh, I’m sure she will be fine, it's just gonna take some time. All the doctor said was that she is stable, that’s good! That means she is getting better.” 

“Yeah, okay, let’s go.” On the elevator ride up, Angie tried to imagine how her mom would be. Some bandages where she got shot and maybe a monitor or two to watch basic levels, she didn’t know how medical things worked. She created a scene in her head where when she walked into the room, Bette would see her and smile, she would be weak and sure a little tired, but she would still be herself. Bette would be proud of how Angie handled the situation, and in a few days, they would go home, and everything would go back to normal.

The two made their way upstairs and spoke to a nurse who told them where Bette’s room was and that it wasn’t quite ready yet. Angie sat down at the new waiting area while Shane chose to stand, tapping her foot anxiously. From where Angie was sitting, she could see where Bette’s room was. As a few nurses exited her room, Angie got a peek at her mom. The image shattered the scene she had fabricated. Bette had tubes and wires surrounding her, some going in her mouth. That spooked Angie, she tried to look away, but at the same time, she couldn’t. The door shut with the last nurse leaving the room, cutting off the view of Bette. Angie looked away, trying to act like she hadn’t seen anything, but she couldn’t get that picture out of her head. Now two disturbing images were floating around her head; the first was the whole incident that got them there and now Bette in a hospital bed clinging to life.   
A nurse came over to them, saying they could see Bette now. Shane started following him, but Angie didn’t move from her seat. She was freaked out by what she saw, and she didn’t want to get any closer. No one wants to see someone they love in that state, especially if they had only seen that person unyielding before.

“Hey, Ange, you coming?” Shane stopped walking and looked back at Angie, who hadn’t budged.

“I don’t know. I- you go first. I just want to be alone for a second.”

“Are you sure? You can go in alone if you want and I can sit out here. She’s your mom I don’t want to-”

“No, you go in. I’m good out here.” Shane looked concerned but listened to her. When the nurse opened the door, Angie could see Bette again, she looked exactly the same as when Angie saw her the first time. Now that she was alone, Angie let tears stream down her face. Shane closed the door behind her, but Angie could still see Bette through the door as if she had x-ray vision.

Angie wiped away her tears when she heard footsteps getting close shortly after that Tina was there. “Oh my god, Angelica, are you alright?” Tina pulled Angie into a tight embrace. “So, how is she? Is she still in surgery?”

“Uh, no, she just got out, and they moved her to that room.” Angie pointed to the room.

“Oh, okay, did they say when we could go in?” Tina sat down in the chair next to Angie. “Hey, where did Shane go?”

“Shane is in there now. I'm not ready to see her.” 

Tina picked up on what was going on and tried her best to comfort her daughter. “It’s okay you don’t have to if you aren’t ready. It’s been a hard night for you too. I think the cafeteria is about to open if you want we can see if they have something for breakfast.” Tina tried to look Angie in the eyes, but she stayed fixated on Bette’s door.

“No, it’s okay. I just want to sit here for a while. You can go see mama B if you want, I’m good here.” Tina looked at Angie, worried, “Really, I’m good here.”

Tina hesitantly got up, “It’s that room right there?” Angie nodded, “Okay, well if you need me or change your mind, come in, okay?” She kept her eyes on her daughter as she walked to her ex-wife’s room. The last time she saw Bette, things were a bit awkward since Bette was upset she was engaged. Tina didn’t have many details to know what state Bette would be in when she saw her. Nothing could have prepared her for what she saw.  
There were wires and tubes everywhere, connecting Bette to machines. Tina had no idea that Bette would be on a ventilator; she thought the damage was only around Bette’s stomach. Nurses were tending to something on her leg, with a doctor observing them and writing on a clipboard. After getting over the initial shock, T watched Bette’s face, it usually was full of emotion and passion, but it was almost lifeless.

“Hey, Tina, you got here a lot quicker than I thought you would. How was your flight?” Shane stood up to hug her. 

“It was fine, I guess. How is she? I- uh, I didn’t know she needed a breathing thing.” The question is more directed towards the doctor.

“We put all our GSW victims on ventilators during surgery just as a precaution; if everything goes well, she should be off it in a few days or a week. I’m Dr.Leon I’m Bette’s intensivist, another word for ICU doctor. The surgeon removed one of the bullets that was still in her abdomen. They had to remove one of her kidneys and reconstruct some of her intestines, but she should recover fully from that. One of the bullets passed through completely; it didn’t lead to much damage, but we want to watch where it exited through her back and make sure those stitches stay in place. Her leg is more of a wait and see, her right femur is fractured, and the surgeon placed a few pins and removed the bullet from there.”

Tina started crying when the seriousness of everything began piling up. So many thoughts were racing in her head. How could this happen? Why was Tyler Adams so hellbent on taking Bette down? Was Bette still Sleeping with Felicity? Then Tina began to blame herself. If she would have stayed longer like Bette asked, maybe things wouldn’t have spiraled so out of control. If she never cheated on Bette and gotten a divorce, everything would have gone so much smoother, and Bette never would be in this situation. Tina knew Bette was only with Felicity to cope with losing her and Kit so close together. “Wow, that’s a lot. I’m sure she will get through it all-”

“Oh, there are a few more things. That is just what was caused directly by the gunshot wounds. When Bette fell, she hit her shoulder pretty hard and dislocated it, and she has a few other abrasions from it as well. We are also worried she may have hit her head, while we are focusing on her other injuries right now we are making sure to watch for any changes that could indicate she sustained a head injury. Um, during surgery, she lost a lot of blood, and her heart stopped for a few minutes, we need her to be awake to see if she sustained any brain damage during that. I don’t want to scare you. It was only for a few minutes, so the damage should be minimal, but we still want to run tests just to make sure. That is everything on her chart. We can give you a little time to sit with her, but we will be back shortly to take her off the sedatives and gauge where she is mentally and run a few other tests.”

“Okay, thank you.” Tina sat down in the chair next to Shane as the nurses and doctor left. “Shit well that was a lot did you remember all of that?”

“That’s why I let them tell you. I heard she is doing good right now and half-listened to the rest. Where is Angie?”

“Oh, Angie is in the waiting area; she wasn’t ready to come in. I think all this really shook her up. I mean, I can’t imagine what it’s like to watch your mom get shot by a drunk asshole who assaulted you a few weeks prior.”

“Angie is a tough kid; she’ll get through this. If she wants, she can stay at my house for a while if she doesn’t want to hang out here or at home.” 

The intensivist came back with the nurses and medication in hand. “We are going to wake her up to run some tests; she might be in some discomfort and pain, we won’t know for sure until she is fully awake, but you are more than welcome to sit outside, and we can get you when we are done.” Tina felt conflicted, she wanted to be here for Bette as much as she could, but at the same time, she knew it wasn’t her place anymore. She didn’t want Bette to have to go through any of this alone, so she decided to stay in the room.   
On the other hand, Shane wasn’t ready to see Bette in this condition and joined Angie in the waiting area. The nurse injected Bette’s IV with the medicine they entered the room with; within a few minutes, Bette let out a few moans, and they knew the sedative was moving out of her system. Tina watched in horror from the corner of the room as the pain in Bette’s face grew. “Bette, can you hear us? You can’t talk right now because of your breathing tube, but try to nod yes or no.”   
Everyone stood in silence, waiting for a sign from Bette, after a few moments, she was able to nod her head once, signifying she was conscious. “Okay, Bette, it’s good to see you can understand us! I’m not sure what you can remember, but we are just going to focus on getting you better, okay?” Bette nodded again. “So first thing I want to let you know is your daughter is safe and sitting outside, right now your wife Tina is here-”

“Ex- uh ex-wife.” Tina stepped up to the bed and grabbed Bette’s arm. “Angie called me, and I wanted to make sure you were okay, so I flew in on the soonest flight.” The two nurses gave each other a look while Dr.Leon carried on.

“Right so, Tina is here, your friend Shane is also out in the lobby with Angie. Can you give us a nod if you understand all of that?” Again Bette nodded. “Thank you; you are doing great hon! We think you hit your head when you fell, so we just have to ask you to do a few more things, then we can put you back to sleep, okay?” The longer Bette was awake, the more pain she started to feel; it was like her nerves were all waking up with her and all signaling at the same time that something was wrong. Tears began to build up in Bette’s eyes as the pain started to worsen.

“Is there anything you can give her for the pain? I mean, look at her.”

“Unfortunately, she is already maxed out on the pain meds we have given her; the only thing that can help is to get through these tests quickly.” Tina simply nodded and refocused her attention on Bette, who had begun holding hands with Tina. “Okay, Bette, can you open your eyes, please? I am going to show you a number. I am going to hold up a number, and I want you to blink as many times as the number says.”   
Dr.Leon held up four fingers about a foot above Bette’s eyes, she responded with four blinks. They repeated this a few more times before the pain became too much for Bette to handle. “Thank you, Bette, you did great! We are going to put you back on your sedative now.” The nurses followed the doctor’s orders and injected the sedative into Bette’s IV and changed out the hang bag.

“Okay, we are done for now. In a few hours, we might run some more tests and maybe a few scans depending on how her labs turn out. Every hour a nurse is going to come back to run smaller tests and take blood for work, and if anything comes up, I will be back to check on her as well. If you think anything changes out of the ordinary and none of the medical staff is here, go ahead and push the call button on the remote. Do you have any questions before we go?” Tina looked down at Bette, who was back in her comatose state. 

“Do you think she will be okay? Please be honest with me. I know what you said earlier, but seeing her in all that pain and not being able to do anything but blink and nod was... “ Tina was cut off by her cries.

“The survival rate for these kinds of gunshot wounds is between eighty-eight and ninety-seven percent. And the likelihood her leg will heal in four months is fifty percent, and there is only a three percent chance she will need more corrective surgery for it.” Tina stared blankly at Dr.Leon. “That is good; we just have to get her over these first hurdles, then she will start getting better faster.”


	3. Chapter 3

In the waiting room, Shane and Angie were eating cookies. Shane tried her best to keep Angie distracted from everything that was going on and asked her about Jordi. At first, Angie was hesitant to redirect her attention but gave in to her uncle Shane. After a while, the doctor and nurses came out of Bette’s room, grabbing Angie’s attention again, and she went back to staring at the door in silence. 

“If you don’t want to stay here, you can come to my house. I got a spare room you can stay in for as long as you want. I’m probably going to stop home after Alice gets here to change and stuff and come back later tonight.” Shane waited for an answer. 

“Thanks, I’ll ride with you.” Angie almost whispered, then back to silence.

A few hours passed, and everyone went to the cafeteria for lunch while the doctors took Bette for scans and tests. Angie barely touched her sandwich; instead, she watched her mom and Shane catch up over their food and occasionally watched the hall where they came from in case she saw Bette’s doctor running to them with bad news, or that by some miracle she was healed and ready to go home. She sat in silence as a scene played in her head. 

Angie stared down the hall where they came from, the doctor she had seen go into her mom’s room multiple times came running down it. “Tina!” he yelled, running towards them. “Can I talk to you in private for a second?” She stood up at first but then asked him to say what he wanted to everyone. “We can’t explain it, but Bette is ready to go home and completely fine. We ran multiple tests because we were confused, but all her injuries are fully healed.” 

Tina broke down in tears as Dr.Leon led the group back upstairs to Bette’s room, and just like he said, she was sitting happily on the bed, fully conscious and smiling. Angie ran into her arms the second she saw her and hugged her, never wanting to let go. “I missed you, mama. Does this mean we get to go home now?” Angie asked with her head still pressed into Bette’s chest.

“Yes, is does baby.” When Bette finally looked up from her daughter, she saw Tina and Shane standing in the doorway. “Oh, hey T, what are you doing here?” Bette looked down and saw that she wasn’t wearing an engagement ring. 

“Ange called, and I thought you might need me. Can we talk when you get home.”

“Of course, about what?”

‘I just want to talk about it when you get back.” 

“What is it?” Bette pushed

Tina got tears in her eyes and looked at Angie before speaking. “I want to come home. Back to you and Angie. I miss both of you so much.” Bette motioned for Tina to come to her, then pulled her into a group hug. The three of them sat there for what felt like a lifetime to Angie, who enjoyed it very much.

“Are you ready to go home, ladies?” Bette asked. Tina and Angie nodded their heads yes, and three made their way down to the hospital’s main floor. 

On their way out, they thanked Dr.Leon and the nursing staff that had helped throughout the night. Angie was so happy that things were about to go back to normal, and she could put this whole nightmare behind her. As the newly reunited family took the last step out of the door, Tina and Angie could exit, but Bette remained inside.  
“What are you doing, mom?” 

“What do you mean, what am I doing? The fucking door didn’t let me through.” Bette attempted to walk through it again, but she stayed stuck in the building. “Why can I get through this stupid fucking door?” Bette pushed will all her strength until she vanished into dust.

Angie’s eyes still fixated on the hallway; she felt a few tears gliding down her face and tried to wipe them away before anyone could see, the look of shock still plastered on her face. “Ange? Your mama B is going to be okay. I talked to Dr.Leon, and the chances of her fully recovering are really really good, okay?” Tina placed her hand over Angie’s, but that only made her start crying again. Tina moved next to her and started rubbing her back in an attempt to comfort her. “Do you think seeing her will help? I know seeing her get shot was hard, and then seeing her lying on the ground and in the ambulance. I know that was all scary for you, but she is getting better; the doctors are keeping her in a coma just so she doesn’t have to be awake in all this pain, but she is doing better, Angie.”

“I don’t want to see her,” Angie said before shaking Tina’s arm off of her. “I want her to get better. I’ll see her when she is ready to go back home, but I don’t want to see her right now.” Shane looked at Tina, who just looked back at her.

“Okay, I won’t push you.” Tina refocused her attention on Angie. “But I came here for your mom and you.” She made sure to emphasize you, “so if you want to talk through anything that you are dealing with right now or any thoughts that are circling in your head, you can tell me, okay?”

“Yeah.” Angie looked back at the hallway. “I’m gonna go for a walk around the hospital just to clear my head.” 

“Okay, and when you are ready to talk it out, I’m here.” Tina played with Angie’s hair as she stood up. 

“Oh Ange, I’ll call you when I’m about to leave, then we can both go to my house. Wait, do you need to stop at home to get anything?” Angie nodded. “Okay, we can stop on the way.” And just like that, Angie left.

Tina took a deep breath before saying anything. “I feel so bad. I can tell she is hurting, but she won’t show it. I feel like a shitty mom-”

“Hey! Don’t talk like that; you are a fucking awesome mom.”

“Yeah, I used to be, then…” Tina pressed her lips together. “I don’t know. I live on the opposite side of the country from her, and I…” 

“What does that have to do with being a shitty parent? I can tell you what shitty parents are, and trust me, T, you’re not one of them.”

“I just miss so much, and I feel responsible for all of this.”

“You mean, last night?” Tina shrugged while Shane looked at her in horror. “How the hell are you responsible for that? No, no, no, Tina, you can’t blame yourself for last night. That is on Tyler Adams and Tyler Adams only. He is the one who showed up at Bette’s house, and he is the one who pulled the trigger. This has nothing to do with you. Really, how do you even think this is on you?”

Tina shrugged off a few tears trying to think of an answer. “I don’t know. Maybe if I were here more then, Angie wouldn’t have gone through that. If I hadn’t broken up my family, neither of them would have gone through any of this or had to deal with the divorce. I know Angie always tries to act strong, but I know the divorce was hard on her. At first, Bette and I were fighting over custody because I didn’t think Bette could make room for Angelica, and I said some fucked up shit that I know Angie heard. Then I basically abandoned her to ‘find myself,’ but I don’t even know what that means anymore because I don’t even know if I am doing what I want.” 

“What does that mean?”

“I don’t know. I-” Tina took a second to try to make some sense of her feelings. “When I came back a few weeks ago, it was genuinely really nice seeing Bette. Telling her Carrie and I are engaged broke her heart, and I felt so guilty because I know she thought we would get back together when I was done with whatever the hell it is I’m doing. Honestly, I did too.” Tears fell down her face as she struggled to get the rest of her thoughts out. “Bette will always be my person; no matter what is going on in either of our lives, she will always be my true love, and I feel like shit for everything that happened between us.”

“Yeah, I know what it’s like to be in love with someone you can’t be with.” 

“So you and Quiara never worked things out?”

“Nope. Well, I don’t know T. She wants a baby, but I don’t. I know that when she goes on tour, I’ll be the one left to take care of the kid.” 

Tina looked at Shane suspiciously when they heard someone yelling from the other side of the room. They looked around to see Alice with a suitcase in hand. She ran over to them and took a seat next to Shane. “Hey guys, I got here as fast as I could, I think I ended up going over eighty at some point but anyways. Oh my god, you guys, is Bette okay? Did the doctor say she is gonna die or anything?” Shane nudged Alice in the ribs. “Ow!”

“Uh, no. They say she has a pretty good chance of fully recovering. It’s just gonna take time. Something she isn’t going to be happy with when she wakes up and starts the recovery process, but she is doing good.” Tina half-joked.

“Oh shit. I didn’t know they were keeping her asleep. It’s that serious?” 

Shane gave Alice a look telling her to tone it down. “It’s a fucking gunshot, Al.”

“I don’t know; I haven't dealt with anyone getting shot before. I had very little details before I got here.”

“No, it’s fine. The doctor woke her up for a while to do some tests, then put her back in her coma or whatever, they are running tests right now… they are scanning her brain for something, I can’t really remember it’s all been a lot.” 

“Shit, sorry I wasn’t here sooner. What’s wrong with her brain? I thought she was shot in the stomach or something.”

“Yeah, she was shot in her stomach twice and leg once. After that she fell and dislocated her shoulder and maybe hit her head, Angie couldn’t remember. Also, her heart stopped during surgery, which could have caused some damage to her brain.” Tina switched to how she is improving in an attempt to keep her from crying. “But they got her stable and besides the pain she was in when they woke her up she seemed to be good mentally. Well, I don’t know if that’s the right thing to say. She seemed like she was ready to fight to keep getting better.” 

“That’s good news then! When can we see her? Oh, what have you guys been doing while you wait?” Alice asked, taking a french fry off Shane’s plate.

“Tina and I were talking about Quiara.” Alice took another fry.

“Oh my god, Tina, you don’t know how many times I’ve heard the ‘I want to be with her, but I don’t want kids’ thing. I’m sorry, Shane, I love you, but you have to get over that whole thing at some point and pick one. At first, I agreed with you because kids totally freak me out, but being with Nat, it kinda changed. I mean, the little things still freak me out, but once they get out of diapers, you can just give them an iPad or something, and they are fine.”

Shane scooted the rest of her fries in front of Alice. “But I told you it’s more than that. I don’t want to be a mom, whether it’s popping it out myself or helping my partner raise one. I don’t want to be the person who drives a minivan and drops twelve kids off at soccer practice and be the head of the PTA.”

“Okay, who said you or Quiara was having twelve kids?” Alice joked.

“It was an exaggeration. But I don’t want to be the absent barely there or almost mother figure either, and those two versions of a mother are all I know. At one point I think I did want kids, but I don’t know, I’m not in a place to have them now. Also, I don’t want to be responsible for how that kid turns out, and raising a black child with two moms would be a lot.”

“I mean, it’s not easy, but it is doable.” Tina cut in. “But I get it. You have to be in it 100 percent in it because being a parent isn’t just something you do for a short time or on your terms. Your priorities change to what your child needs, and you are there to help them for their whole lives. And being a white mother of any child of color is hard because other people constantly question your connection with your child because you don’t share the same skin color. And knowing your child will face more challenges in life just because of that is hard, especially since I could never relate and help with that.”

“Sorry T, I didn’t mean-”

“No, it’s fine. I had the same thoughts before I had Angie.”

Shane stretched her arms in the air and stood up. “Alright guys, I think I’m gonna go. I’ll probably come back tonight, so if you guys need anything, just text me. And Tina, Angie is gonna be at my house, she can stay as long as she wants, just making sure we are on the same page.” She walked off, and Tina and Alice continued catching up, waiting to see Bette.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating in a while, it's been a little crazy here. I had a question and was hoping you would answer to help me. I'm not sure how many of you have watched the interrogation clips that showtime released after the final airing of the original L word, but do you consider them canon or not? I think some interesting things were brought up, specifically regarding Bette and Tina's characters, I won't spoil it in case some of you want to go watch them, but was wondering if I should try to work them into future updates. If you are unaware of these tapes you can find them on Youtube by searching 'the L-word interrogation tapes'. Also, I would like to hear others' opinions on them regardless if I include those plot points. Thank you!


	4. Chapter 4

The drive to Angie’s house was just as quiet as the hospital waiting room was; any question Shane asked got either a physical response or a one-word answer. Shane could see how much Angie was affected by the night before because usually she was full of energy and had a lot to say, now her spirit was gone. As they pulled up to the house, Angie’s breath got shallow, and it got hard for her to swallow, but she brushed it off and got out of the car. Shane followed behind as she unlocked the gate; they both froze once it was fully open. 

Bette’s blood had stained the ground, and there was supplies left behind from the medics and police. Shane was surprised since the police said it was okay for Angie to go home; she thought that meant everything would look normal, and you couldn’t tell they had even been there. Bandage wrappers scattered the flower beds, and little plastic signs marked whatever evidence they found on the ground. As Angie scanned the scene, the previous night began replaying in her head. She saw the fear in her mom’s face as she tried to defuse the situation and the loud voice of Tyler Adams boomed in her head as he yelled over Bette until, *  
Shane placed her hand on Angie’s shoulder, making her jump. “Shit, sorry I didn’t mean to scare you. Let’s go inside.” Shane led them inside and let Angie get her things. 

With Angie out of the room, Shane broke down. She didn’t know the walkway would look like that. She didn’t realize Bette had lost that much blood. Is that even a safe amount of blood to lose? The doctors said she lost even more in surgery. How can one person lose that much blood and be okay? Angie was in her room, wondering the same thing as she packed. Tears streamed down her face as she shoved a handful of shirts and a few sweats into her duffle bag. She packed anything she might need in the next week because she didn’t want to come back. She didn’t want to walk back out of the house, either. Out of the door, her mother was shot at, and on the ground, she bled on to. But getting through it and leaving was better than being stuck in the house, alone. The image of her mom lying in the hospital bed snuck back into her head, looking as vibrant as when she saw it in person. She tried to shake it out of her head, but it was glued to the inside of her eyelids. Every time she blinked, the picture was clearer than before. 

Not knowing what to do, she fell to the ground and curled up in a ball sobbing. Shane heard from the other room and rushed in. “Angie? Everything is going to be okay. Come here.” Shane wrapped Angie in her arms and held on tight until her crying turned into small sniffles. “Is there anything your uncle Shane can do to help?” Angie shook her head no but was thankful Shane was there. “You sure?” She nodded her head.

Shane helped Angie carry her things to the car and held her hand so she could keep her eyes shut as they walked out the door and along the path. With each step, Angie could see in her head where she was in her head. Angie was doing good until she felt a wrapper crinkle under her foot. Then the current image of how the walkway looked popped into her head, and she started crying. “Wait.” Angie let go of Shane’s hand and tried to calm herself down but made sure to keep her right hand pressed tightly over her eyes. 

“Do you want me to do anything, Ange?” Angie shook her head, violently in response. “Okay, I’ll just wait until you are ready.” 

A few minutes passed, and Angie still wasn’t able to get herself to walk again. Shane picked up it might be a while, so she told Angie to hang back a second while putting her stuff in the jeep. “Okay, I’m back, give me your hand.” Angie didn’t move. “I’m not going to make you walk. Please just give me your arm.” She listened, and Shane grabbed it and put it over her shoulder and made Angie grab her from behind. “Now jump up. I’ll give you a back ride to the car.” She hesitated. “Ange?” She did as she was told, and Shane got her out of the gate and set her back down. “Okay, you're good to open your eyes. You can get in the car. I'm just gonna make sure everything is locked up.” 

Once they were both in the car, neither one said a word. They drove straight to Shane’s house with only the sound of the cars passing by for them to listen to. It was comforting to Angie; she didn’t know why, but it relaxed her the tiniest bit to hear the engine’s noises when Shane sped up and the woosh when a car drove past in the opposite direction. 

After getting Angie settled in the guest room, Shane returned to the hospital, stopping to get some food on the way for Tina and Alice. They were sitting next to Bette’s bed when she got there; Bette hadn’t changed at all since Shane last saw her. “Hey guys, I thought you might be hungry, so I got some burgers. How's she doing?” Shane passed the paper bag off to Tina

“Thanks. She’s been out all day, so there hasn’t been much going on. How is Angie?” Tina asked, making room for Shane’s chair next to her.

“She is struggling with all this, and fuck- When went to pick up her stuff, it was bad.” Shane bit the inside of her mouth, trying not to cry.

“What does that mean?” Alice pried.

“Um, the whole crime scene, I guess you could call it, was still there. The walkway still has Bette’s blood all over it, and-” Shane’s cries cut her off.

“Shit, I’m sorry Shane, I didn’t know. I would have just told you to take her to your house and worry about clothes and stuff later if I knew. Are you okay?” Tina wraps her arm around Shane to comfort her.

“Yeah, it was just hard. I wasn’t expecting it. I don’t know. Seeing all that blood on the ground made me see how seriously she is hurt. I know all these tubes and IVs are a lot but seeing blood it’s different.” 

“Shane, you seem really shaken up. I don’t think you should stay here all night.” Alice said, placing her hand on Shane’s arm.

“Yeah, and if you go home, then Angie doesn’t have to be by herself.”

“No, it’s fine. You guys have been here all day. You go home; I’ll stay and call if anything happens.”

“I’m staying here no matter what.”

“Tina.”

“I’m not leaving.” Tina sat back in her chair and crossed her arms.

“Have you ever slept?”

“I took a nap earlier.” Tina looked away, trying to deflect. 

“That doesn’t count, you were only asleep for like ten minutes,” Alice said, trying to make eye contact with TIna.

“Tina, you should get some sleep. Here take my keys, and you can sleep in my bed, and I’ll call you if anything changes.” Shane dug in her pockets and grabbed her keys, holding them out for Tina.

Tina pushed her hand away. “No! I’m not leaving. Sorry. It’s just, I should have been there for Kit, and I wasn’t, now I’m making sure I’m here. I want to make sure she sees me right when she wakes up.” Tina looked at Bette as her eyes got watery. She was trying her hardest not to cry, but it wasn’t working. 

“Tina. Everything with Kit is in the past, okay? You don’t have to do anything to make up for that. Make sure you are taking care of yourself too.”

“I thought it was in the past too, but she still holds that against me that I wasn’t there. Bette said if I were still family, I would have been at the funeral at least. I need to show her I am still part of her family, and I can be here when she needs me.”

“You will always be a part of each other's family, no matter what. You guys have a kid together. Sure maybe Bette felt that way out of anger or sadness when you got a divorce, but that will never change the connection between you guys. So you aren’t romantic any more who cares, you still have to communicate and decide on things as a unit because of Angie, so you will always be family.” Tina got what Alice was saying, but at the same time, she couldn’t bring herself to believe it. She always knew what Bette said was out of pain, but Tina started feeling it deep inside her that Bette didn’t see her as family anymore. “Don’t let something Bette said in anger eat away at you like this. Especially if she doesn’t get better.” 

“Fuck Alice why-”

“Get out,” Tina said calmly.

“I didn’t say anything bad I just said don’t let that eat away at you because if she dies, you won’t ever let it go.”

“Get the fuck out, Alice!” Tina yelled, pointing at the door.

Alice ignored her and tried to explain her point, but Tina sure wasn’t listening to anything she was saying. Alice didn’t mean any harm by what she said, but she didn’t fully think how saying Bette could die would sound. “I’m just saying. I had to deal with Dana dying, and before that, I never thought that could happen to anyone I was close to. I think it is a reasonable thing to be prepared for when someone gets shot three times.”

Tina was now standing up with tears streaming down her face. Of course, Tina had thought about Bette possibly dying, mostly before she saw her in person, but she didn’t need that scenario shoved in her face right now, and the lack of sleep wasn’t helping her mental state either. “I don’t care what you went through with Dana. Bette is getting better! She is going to wake up, and it will be a long journey, but she   
get through this and be even stronger than before.” 

“I’m sorry, Tina, I'm not saying that isn’t going to happen. I-”

“Alice, I think we should go.” Shane pulled at Alice's arm, leading her towards the door.

“I wasn’t-” 

“C’mon Al.”

“Should one of us stay?”

“Both of you can go. I’ll be fine, and I will call if anything changes.” Tina plopped back down in her chair and looked back at Bette, wiping away her tears.

“Tina, I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Shane, can you ask Angie to call me when you get back home?”

“Uh, of course. But I think texting might be better; she still isn’t talking much.” 

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

Shane wrapped Tina into a tight embrace from behind. “Bye, call me if you need anything, okay? Please please try to get some sleep.” Tina nodded and thanked Shane.

‘Bye, Tina, I’ll see ya tomorrow?” Alice waited for some type of reply from Tina but didn’t get one. “Umm, bye.” 

Shane and Alice left the hospital together quietly. When they got outside, the air was cool, and there was a slight breeze. It was refreshing and felt good against their tear-stained cheeks. 

“Did I come off as an asshole in there?” Alice asked, sitting down on a bench near the hospital. 

“Why did you have to say that? We know that is a possibility, but you didn’t need to bring it up.” Shane pulled a pack of cigarettes out of her jacket pocket along with a lighter. “Want one?”

“I thought you quit.” 

“Yeah, I did, but this has all been really stressful, so I need it.” 

Alice watched Shane light the cig, inhale and gently blow the smoke out. “You know what I could use right now? Some pot, just to take the edge off, you know.”

“Yeah.” Shane laughed to herself, thinking about when she smoked with Bette a few weeks earlier. Her life was stressful then, too but in a different way.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing.” Shane blew out more smoke.

“Hey, I didn’t mean what I said in a bad way. It’s just when I found out Dana was diagnosed with cancer, and I never thought she would die from it. That was something that old unhealthy people die from, not athletic super in shape tennis stars die from. So when she did die, it hit me really fucking hard, like I didn’t know if I could live any more hard. And I think that came from being surprised by it, even though I shouldn’t have. I saw what she was like in the hospital. So I guess I was trying to make sure Tina doesn’t get hit that hard if Bette doesn’t get better. I know I would have acted the same way if someone said that to me, shit, I probably would have been worse and hit them or something.”

Shane placed her half-smoked cigarette on the sidewalk and smothered it with her shoe. “I get where you were coming from. I just don’t think that's how you should have gone about it.”

“Yeah, you’re right.’

“Alright, I should get home and have Angie talk to Tina. I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

“If Tina lets me come back.” Alice shrugged.

“Hey, Tina isn’t her wife anymore or her girlfriend, so she can't stop either one of us from seeing Bette. But, I’m sure she will cool off by tomorrow anyway. Everyone’s emotions are high right now, so I think us taking a step back will give everyone a chance to breathe. I just wish Tina would leave this fucking place and get some sleep.”

Shane hugged Alice before running off to her car. Before she left, she texted Angie that she was on her way home and asked if she needed anything. Shane checked her email while she was waiting, but after a few minutes gave up and thought Angie was most likely asleep anyways. 

Back in the hospital, Tina was sitting next to Bette’s bed, trying to pull herself together. She knew what Alice said had some truth in it, and she hated that. She hated there wasn’t anything she could do at that moment to help Bette. She hated that Bette had to go through this. She hated that she wasn’t there when everything happened. Most of all, she hated why she wasn’t there. Tina knew she had gone too far, and Bette wasn’t her’s any more to come back to. 

Tina had been fine with the divorce for the most part until she visited a few weeks ago. Having separate lives on opposite sides of the country, was it easy to deny or avoid leftover feelings she had for Bette. But seeing her again and telling her about the engagement Tina could feel the pain Bette had, and she had it too. Ever since then, Tina had been confused about what she is doing. Until a few weeks ago, she thought Bette was moving on too; that is why she accepted Carrie’s proposal. But now, now everything Tina felt was a whirlwind of confusion.   
With so many thoughts racing through her head Tina thought it might be a good idea to vocalize some of them. 

“Hey Bette, I don’t know if you can hear me, but I heard that sometimes it helps to talk to people when they are in a coma, so they know that people around them love them and want them to get better. So I guess I’ll try it since there is no harm in it and I have some stuff I just need to get out. If you can hear me, I want to start with I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all the shit I put you and Angelica though the past three years, I’m sorry for breaking up our marriage when you wanted to work on it, I’m sorry for trying to take Angie away from you, and I’m sorry for not being there when Kit died. I know I should have been there, I was weak, and I didn't want you to see me like that, I know that is not an excuse, but I am so sorry, Bette. I need you to get better so I can make all of that up to you because you didn’t deserve any of that.” Tina grabbed Bette’s hand and held it in hers. She stopped for a moment debating if she should say what she was thinking about.

“I still love you.” She paused again. “I never stopped loving you. I will always love you. You were my first   
love Bette, and I don’t think anything can change my love for you, and you will always have a spot in my heart. You are the strongest and most fearless person I know; you go after and get anything you want, so I need you to want to get better because then I know you will make it through all of this just fine. I know it hurts, and it’s going to be a long journey, but you will get through this, I know you will. And if you want me to be, I will be here by your side the whole way and help you with anything you need because I am your family. I’m sorry it took this happening to you for me to be here for you. Just please, get through this baby, please.” 

Tina put her head down on the side of Bette’s bed and cried herself to sleep. Tina’s phone light up with calls and texts in the chair next to her, but she was too exhausted to hear it going off.


	5. Chapter 5

Shane and Alice visited the hospital early in the morning so they could go to Dana’s and get some work done. When they entered the room, they saw Tina asleep with her head on the bed while sitting in the chair next to Bette. 

“Do you think we should wake her up?” Alice asked, sitting down in the chair furthest from Tina.

“I don’t know. I’m sure she needs the sleep, but there is no way that’s comfortable. Maybe just give her a few minutes?” Shane noticed that Tina fell asleep holding Bette’s hand; she acted like she was getting a closer look at Bette, blocked Alice’s view with her body, then pulled their hands apart before Alice could see. 

The movement woke Tina up, and she slowly sat up. “Hey, how long have you guys been here?” She attempted a stretch but was too tired to move any more than she already had. 

“We just got here. How did you sleep?”

Tina let out a small laugh. “That was probably the worst sleep of my life, but it is the most I’ve gotten in the past three days, so I’ll take it. You both were right; I needed to rest.” She managed to sit entirely straight and began stretching out her back and arms. 

“How is your back that didn’t look too comfy?” Alice asked, testing the waters. 

“It’s not too bad, but it doesn’t feel great.” Tina looked around, noticing how dim the room was. “What time is it?”

“It’s about seven am. We wanted to see how you and Bette were doing before we went to work.”

“Oh, you are going to work? Wait, Alice, I thought you just finished filming this season.”

“Yeah, I did. I was going to help Shane with the bar.” Tina looked at Shane.

“Yeah, some group rented out Dana’s, so we have a lot of work to get done for the weekend. Alice was going to help, but if you want us to stay, I’m sure we can find someone else to help Tess.”

“No, no, it’s fine. Thank you for coming by still.”

The room got quiet when they all ran out of things to say. Mostly they were too tired to carry on a conversation, so they watched Bette in silence until a nurse came in to check on her. A little after that, Dr.Leon came in too. Tina watched him closely as he looked over Bette’s chart and did something with her IV. 

“Is everything okay?” Tina asked, worried. 

“Yes, she is doing good. It just looks like some of her levels were getting off, so we are changing the dosage for a few of the medications we have her on. But other than that, she is coming along great. If she keeps doing good, we can get her off the sedatives in the next few days and move her to step down.”

“Step down, what is that?” Shane asked.

“The step-down unit is where we move patients when they no longer need the constant supervision that is here in ICU but still need more attention than the main hospital floor.” Dr.Leon’s pager buzzed. “I need to go to another patient right now, but I want to assure you Bette is doing really well right now.”

The girls thanked Dr.Leon as he left; the nurse followed shortly after. Alice, Shane, and Tina went back to sitting in silence, watching Bette. 

“Oh, Tina! Angie said she tried to get a hold of you last night, but she couldn’t.”

Tina reached for her phone and rapidly tapped the screen. “Shit, my phone is dead. Do either of you have a charger? I didn’t really come prepared to stay.”

Shane held out her cell. “I don’t have a charger, but you can use my phone.” 

Tina looked at Alice, but she shook her head no. “Thank you,” she said, taking the phone. “Is she doing any better today?”

“I don’t know; she was still really quiet and not saying much.”

“I should find her a therapist. Alice, do you know of any good ones around here? You always know what’s going on in LA.”

“I don’t know. Most of the big shot shrinks I know around here are more for couples therapy. I don’t know anyone for this kind of trauma. Sorry.”

“That’s alright; it gives me something to do today.” 

Tina decided to call Angie since that was faster than talking over text, and to her surprise, Angie answered the phone. “Hey, it’s mama T. Sorry I missed you last night, my phone died. How are you doing today?” Tina smiled at Shane and Alice, hoping it would be a good day. “If you want, we can facetime. Yeah, I’m in the room, but I can leave.” Tina mouthed to Shane that she would be back and left the room.

“She seems like she is doing good today?” Alice said while switching to the chair next to Bette. With Tina being so protective, she was nervous about getting close before.

“Who? Bette?”

“Well yeah, I’m not a doctor and doctor… I forgot his name, said she was doing good. But I meant Tina.” 

Shane moved in close to Alice to get a better look at Bette. “Yeah, I’m sure sleeping helped. But we have to get her to sleep in a bed or something better than a chair.”

“Do you think Tina still loves Bette?” 

“I don’t know, maybe. I mean, they were together for forever.” She shrugged and moved back to her chair. Shane remembered her conversation from the day before with Tina but decided it was up to Tina to say anything.

“No. I mean, like, do you think Tina wants them to be together again or regrets everything? It’s just a little weird how… how do I say this, possessive? I don’t think that’s right. I don’t know. It’s just a little weird how she won’t leave. I feel like she is acting like they are still married or something.” 

“I don’t know, Al. I’m sure Tina still cares for her, but I think that is just how you feel when you are with someone for so long and have a child together.”

“I don’t know, it’s weird to me.” Alice leaned into Bette to really look at her. She studied her breathing wondering if the machines or Bette was controlling it. 

“Okay, so you are saying if you and Nat had been together for about 20 years, and one of those kids was yours, you wouldn’t care if she was in the hospital because you aren’t together anymore?”

Alice sat back up straight and took a deep breath. “I didn’t say it’s weird because Tina cares. I’m not that cold-hearted; I would obviously be worried. But would I fly across the country in the middle of the night and refuse to leave her side? I'm gonna go with nope.” 

Shane put her hands up defensively. “All I’m saying is that’s not my business. I haven’t even really been close with Tina since the whole divorce, and none of us even close during all of that, so I don’t know.”

“You sound like you know something.” Alice gave Shane a look. 

“She sounds like she knows what?” Alice and Shane froze when Tina returned with a charger in hand. “Here's your phone, thanks. Thank goodness they had chargers at the gift shop.” 

Shane and Alice looked at each other, wondering if Tina heard anything. “How was your call? Is Angie doing better?” Alice asked, trying to change the topic.

“Well, she still isn’t talking that much, but she seems about the same. It’s hard to tell over the phone. I’ll look into a therapist for her today. Shit, I should probably see a shrink too.”

“Yeah, how are you doing? You haven’t really had time to decompress or taken a step back to process everything.” Alice asked while she moved back to the other chair. 

“I feel like shit. Just everything feels like shit.” Tina bit the inside of her lip, trying to hold in her emotions. She didn’t want to start the tears first thing in the morning. And her eyes were still sensitive from the day before.

“What do you mean?”

Tina sat down in the chair near Bette and took a deep breath. “I don’t feel like there is one part of my life that is going great. I feel like I lost my whole family. Bette and I hardly talked before all of this; I barely see my daughter; I’m not close with any of my friends anymore; I haven’t talked to my dad or sister since sometime close to when I met Bette. I feel like I don’t have a community anymore.” 

Shane and Alice looked at each other with guilt, knowing she was referring to them about the friends part. “You have Carrie, and you two just got engaged. That’s exciting.” Shane said, trying to think of something positive. 

Tina looked at Bette, who had been in the same state since she got out of surgery. “Yeah, at least I have her.” Thinking about everything she had lost since the divorce made her lose the battle she was fighting with the tears. 

“Tina, is everything okay?” 

“I don’t know.”

“What’s going on?” Shane asked as she moved her chair closer to Tina.

“Leaving Bette when Angie was little was the biggest regret of my life for a long time, and I had a hard time letting go of that guilt and everything I put Bette through during all of it. And then I did the same exact thing and expected things to be different.”

Alice moved closer, too, forming a little huddle. “Well you split up for a reason. Remember that. I don’t really know what the reason is. Bette refused to talk about it but there is one.”

“She really didn’t tell you?” Alice shook her head no. But that only made Tina more upset knowing that Bette kept everything to herself and dealt with everything alone. 

“Your divorce wasn’t that bad, was it? I mean, When Bette first moved here she just said you guys were getting divorced, and she was moving back to LA because she didn’t want to have to see you in the same circles. It was hard to see you because the feelings were still there for her.”

“So much happened while we were separating and even before we decided to get a divorce that you don’t know about, that no one knows about. Bette didn’t want you guys or anyone to change how they felt about me, so she kept everything to herself.”

“You are kind of scaring me. What do you mean?” Alice questioned.

“Like what do you know about our divorce?”

“I know that you wanted the divorce, and Bette went along with it.”

“What else? It can be anything related to it.”

Alice looked at Shane for an answer. She shrugged. 

“I don’t know.” Alice gave up.

“Do you know how long we debated it or when things started coming to an end?”

“I don’t know. Bette moved here like a year and a half ago. So I guess somewhere around that time? I don’t know.”

“It was probably a three-year thing. Maybe longer.”

‘What?” Alice asked, shocked. “But I saw you two together before Bette moved, and you two seemed good.”

“That’s what we wanted people to see. The beginning of the end was about three years ago. Bette didn’t want you guys to know. She didn’t want anyone to know. So this stays between us.” Tina looked Alice firmly in the eyes. 

“Hey!” Alice yelled. “Why don’t you look at Shane like that?”

“Shane doesn’t have a big mouth like you.” Shane laughed. “You promise not to tell anyone. Not Nat, not your diary, no one.” Alice nodded her head, yes. “Okay, well, about three years ago, Bette caught me cheating.”

“Tina!” Alice said, shocked.

“I know. I was stupid. Bette wanted to work through it, but I needed my space. After that, we didn’t talk while I was still on set, and I was supposed to go back home after shooting wrapped, and things were supposed to go back to normal. So we didn’t talk for two months. Then I got home, but we still weren't together like before. Then a few more months went by, and I was still doing my own thing-” 

“Wait, what do you mean by doing your own thing?”

“I did my own thing. Bette and I were basically on a break, and I was free to do whatever I wanted. Mostly when I wasn’t home. As long as she didn’t hear about it, she was fine.”

“So Bette let you sleep with other women while you were away? So like Marina and Francesca?” Alice gave Tina a skeptical look but let her continue. 

“Not really. Bette was just giving me my space to figure out who I was. I know she didn’t want to, but she was trying. But when I was supposed to go back home, I told Bette I wasn’t ready to go back to the way we were before. We tried to hide it from Angie, so I would move into the guest room after she went to her room every night. We did that for a while, but it wasn’t working for Bette or me. So I moved out. We told Angie I was gone on some movie, but I was just a few blocks away. After a year of that, Bette realized I wasn’t coming back home, so she asked if I wanted a divorce, I was too ashamed and scared to ask her for one, so I was relieved. Then she moved here, and you guys know the rest.”

“What the fuck. There is so much to unpack there. First off, what the hell does you need to find yourself mean? And I still can't believe that she just let you run around having a double life. That does not sound like the Bette I know at all. And you don’t sound like the Tina I know.”

“Well, it wasn’t like I was going out at night with other women and coming back home to Bette and curling up with her in bed. And it’s hard to explain the whole thing without you being there and knowing what was going on in Bette’s head. And I know I wasn’t the Tina you know. I didn’t know who I was. That was the whole point of me trying to find myself.”

“I’m so confused.” Alice shook her head. “Shane, why are you being so quiet?”

“What? Uh, I was just listening.” Shane shrugged. 

Tina and Alice both looked at Shane suspiciously. “Did you know?”

“Well. Yeah. I was in New York for a while. Tina was gone, and Bette and I caught up, and she told me everything that was going on. She looked like she needed someone to talk to about it, so I was there. I just wasn’t supposed to tell anyone.” 

“How much do you know?” Tina tried to hide the fear that was in her, but her eyes gave it away. 

“Um, I think she told me everything that was going on until she moved. She was hurting, so I was just trying to help.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Tina asked, starting to panic a bit.

“I didn’t think about it. I was just trying to be there for Bette. That was a lot for someone to go through; she needed a friend.”

“So, you were there for her when she decided to leave?” The tears started to collect in Tina’s eyes again.

“Yeah.”

“So you know?” Tina and Shane stared at each other, waiting for the other to give in. Alice watched utterly out of the loop of what was going on.

“I’m not sure if she told me everything.”

“Shane. Do you know?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Fuck.” Tina stood up and threw her chair back. As she reconnected eye contact with Shane, the tears poured down her face. 

“What’s so bad?” Alice asked, confused. 

Tina paced back and forth for a moment, thinking of what to do. “I’m going for a walk. I don’t know when I’ll be back.” Tina grabbed her phone and the charger before she ran out of the room, crying. 

Alice looked at Shane, confused about what just happened. Shane could feel Alice’s eyes burning through her, but she kept staring at the ground. “So, are we just going to act like everything is normal? What that fuck went on?”

“I can’t tell you. You gotta find out from Tina or Bette.”

“Why can’t you tell me?”

“Because it isn’t about me, Alice.”

“Is it really that bad?” 

“I can’t tell you.” 

The two sat in silence for a moment, letting what just happened to wash over them. Alice was still trying to process everything Tina told her about the divorce, but now she was even more confused. What could be so bad that she would react like that just because Shane knew? 

“Hey, Al. We should probably get out of here and help Tess.”

“Yeah.”

As they were leaving the hospital, Shane saw Tina sitting on the sidewalk near the front door. “Go to the car. I’ll be right there.”

“This is really gonna be a whole thing that I can’t be a part of?”

“Sorry.”

“Fine, give me your keys, and I’ll pick you up here in a few minutes.”

Shane tossed the keys to the Jeep to Alice and walked over to Tina. She had her hands and head on her knees, and her legs pulled close, so she didn’t notice Shane come up to her. “Hey T.” She jumped at Shane’s voice. “I’m sorry for not telling you I knew that I know what happened between you and Bette. I just want you to know that it’s staying between us three unless you say otherwise.”

“Thanks.” Tina let go of her legs and looked up at Shane. “Do you think I’m a terrible person?” 

Shane sat down on the curb next to Tina. “No. I don’t think anyone is just bad or just good. People are just people. And people make mistakes, make bad choices, and sometimes hurt people close to them, but that doesn’t make them a bad person. Because at the same time, they still do great things, love their families, take care of those they care about, and make up for the things they did wrong. Sure, what you did was fucked up, but I know in your heart that it eats at you, and you would do anything to undo it, and I know how deep the love you and Bette have. I’m not perfect and I’ve done shitty things too, so I can’t judge you.”

“Thank you.”

“Hey, I still love you. I know I wasn’t there for you as a friend when everything was going on. I guess I thought Bette needed me more. I know that’s not fair since I’m your friend too, so I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too. It’s not just your fault that we aren’t close anymore. After the divorce, I didn’t try to reach out or anything to you. I just let Bette win the friends we had since I felt so guilty.” 

“Look, no matter what happens moving forward, I’m gonna be here for you, okay? If you ever need to talk anything through, like stress from this, your wedding planning, or how you still love Bette, I’m all ears.”

“Thank you, Shane. I love you too.” Tina pulled Shane into a hug, and the two cried it out together until Alice honked her horn at Shane, telling her to get in the car. Alice jumped out of the Jeep and got in the passenger side. 

Shane got up, but before she got in the car, she told Tina. “I’m serious, Tina. Anytime just call me, okay? Love you, bye.”


	6. Chapter 6

Back at Shane’s house, Angie sat on the balcony and watched the city. She tried to focus on smog that moved slowly over large buildings or the way the trees moved in the breeze, but her mind was still on her mom. That image of Bette helpless in the hospital bed was still engraved into her mind. 

The need for sleep tugged at Angie’s heavy eyes, and she felt herself drifting off, but she fought it. Just like she had all night. Every time Angie let herself sleep, the dark part of her subconscious took over, and nightmares came flooding in. She tried her best to keep her eyes open, but she was so tired and allowed her eyes to close for just a moment. 

Angie sat on the couch with Bette, a bowl of popcorn wedged between them. Angie looked at her mom and smiled, feeling safe. How she used to feel most of the time. When she focused on the tv, the events that transpired the night Bette was attacked were playing. Angie panicked and looked to Bette, but she wasn’t reacting. Well, not to what Angie saw, at least. She was smiling. How could she be smiling? She was watching her own close call with death.

Looking back at the screen, confused, Angie noticed something new. Tyler Adams was talking to her through the tv. Pointing directly at her and saying he was coming after her too. She looked to her mom again, but she still wasn’t reacting the way Angie thought she should. When Angie looked at the tv again, Tyler Adams stepped out into their living room, waving a gun in his left hand while he continued spewing hate at Bette. Now, this had to elicit some reaction from her. Angie started crying while Bette continued to smile at the tv, not reacting in the slightest to the man standing only a few feet in front of her. 

Tyler aimed his gun at Bette before pulling a second one out of his pants’ waist and aiming it at Angelica. She froze, not knowing what to do. Why wasn’t her mom doing anything? Why was she acting like nothing wrong was going on? Bette had always been the protective mama bear, so why not now? Why not, during this crisis, when her daughter’s life depended on it? 

Angie started to experience everything in slow motion. She heard the creak of the trigger being pulled back of the gun, aiming at her mom. Bette still didn’t lose the smile plastered on her face. Angie panicked, and in an attempt to save her mom, she jumped in front of Bette as she saw the bullets slowly exiting the gun’s chamber. 

When the first bullet ripped through the flesh on her arms, everything started happening in real-time again. Tyler fired three more shots-

Angie was jolted back into the real world and was confused to see Shane standing over her. It was just a dream. A nightmare. None of that was real. Angie knew that, but that didn’t stop her from trembling with fear. 

“Are you okay?” Shane asked, worried.

Angie held her arm where the bullet struck her in her dream. She looked around, trying to remind herself that she is at Shane’s house and safe, completely ignoring the concern on Shane’s face. 

“Angie?” Shane looked down at her arm. Angie checked it out to make sure it was okay; even though it was only a dream, it stung a bit. 

“Yeah. Nightmare.” Angie rubbed her arm and stood up to go inside.

“Alice and I were about to go to Dana’s, but we can stay if you want. Just watch movies or something.” Shane followed Angie inside.

Alice was sitting at the table and saw the terror in Angie’s eyes. “Is everything okay?” Angie ignored her question and walked straight to the guest room. Shane shrugged and looked at Alice. “You should call Tina.” 

Shane heard the door close behind Angie and knew Alice was right. But at the same time, she already knew Tina was going through a lot on her own. She thought it through for a second before agreeing with Alice. “Yeah, you’re right.” She pulled out her phone and called.

“Hey, um, I think Angie needs you. I found her on the balcony sleeping when I got home, she was shaking and shit, so I woke her up, but she didn’t really say anything and went to the guest room. Yeah, she seems really freaked out. She said she had a nightmare, but that was it.”

While Shane was on the phone, Angie buried her face in a pillow, trying to hide her cries. Even if it was just a dream, it still felt real, and it scared her—the uncertainty of how her mom was going to be only added to Angie’s anxiety. Everyone was telling her that Bette would get better, but how could they know for sure? Did they not see Bette after she came out of surgery? How lifeless her body was. They didn’t see Bette lying unconscious on the ground or all the blood she lost. How could they possibly know how she will turn out?

Angie held in her crying when she heard a knock on the door. “Angie?” She tried to say go away, but nothing came out. “Angie, we are coming in okay.” As Shane and Alice went into the room, she dug her face more into the pillow, trying to hide. 

“Angie, come here.” Shane sat down next to her and pulled her into a hug. “I’m sorry you have to deal with all of this. We are gonna take you to the hospital to see your Mama T.” 

Angie shook her head no with her face still in the pillow. “You don’t have to see your Mama B if you don’t want to. We think you should see you, T, though. You need her right now, and I know she is working on trying to find you help.”

A muffled no came from the pillow.

“Ange, I know it hurts, and you don’t want to go back to the hospital, but if you come, we can help you. That’s all we wanna do.”

Angie wondered why they didn’t get it. There was nothing they could do to help or make her feel any better. The only thing that would help is if they had some magical cure to undo everything. The damage was already done. 

“Angie, please.” Alice pleaded as she sat down next to Shane. 

“If everyone wants to help so bad, why doesn’t mama T come here?”

Shane and Alice looked at each other, trying to get the other to answer. Alice pressed her lips together and shook her head no. Shane let out a sigh. 

“This has been hard on everyone. Your mama T too. She is struggling with a lot of emotions and guilt, I think, and she has been refusing to leave the hospital since she got here.” Angie lifted her head from the pillow. 

“I know she feels guilty…She still loves Mama B.” She wiped her face with her sleeve. Angie knew Tina was struggling with this as much as she was. She didn’t want to make it any harder on her mom, so she sucked it up. “Okay, I’ll go.” 

Alice and Shane gave Angie sometime to clean herself up before packing back into the jeep and back to the hospital. The car ride was quiet. Angie watched out the window, trying to distract herself with the passing signs and cars. Alice and Shane attempted to talk with their eyes about Angie but got lost in the head nods and eyebrow wiggles and eventually gave up. 

As they got closer to their destination, Angie could feel her heartbeat getting faster and faster. Her breathing got shallow, and she tried her best to control it, but by the time they were there, she was gasping for air. 

“Ange, everything is going to be alright. Take a deep breath in.” Angie did as she was told. “Good. Now out. Nice. Now keep doing that While I find us a place to park.” Shane frantically scanned the garage. She found a place on not too many floors up and near the stairs. She called Tina once they were parked, and she agreed to meet them at the car. 

Angie was still having a hard time in the back of the jeep when Tina found them. “Angie, it’s okay, I’m here now. Shhh, take a deep breath. It looks like you are having a panic attack. It’s okay; just try to focus on your breathing, okay?” She had no clue what her mom was talking about but listened to her. After a few minutes, her breathing was under control, and she felt much better. 

“Feeling better?” Angie nodded her head. “Good.” 

Everyone got out of the car and looked at each other for what to do next. “Hey, is it okay if Angie and I sit in the car for a while?”

“Yeah, of course.” Shane tossed the keys to Tina.

“I guess Shane and I can go see Bette for a while or hang out in the cafeteria.” They walked off after getting a nod from Tina.

“C’mon. You can sit in the driver's seat if you want.” 

Angelica waved goodbye and got in the car without saying a word. Tina followed suit and sat in the front passenger seat. “Do you wanna talk about anything? You seemed okay when I talked to you earlier. Were you acting like everything was good, or did something happen?” 

Angie looked straight ahead and shrugged.

“Honey, I know you are hurting and trying to cope with everything, but you need to say something, so I know how to help you.”

“I lied.”

“So, you weren’t doing good this morning?” Angie shook her head no. She turned to look out the window as tears started to build up in her eyes. “It’s okay, baby. You don’t have to hide how you are feeling. It’s been hard on me too, and I wasn’t even there. I can’t imagine what is going on in your head. Come here.” Tina leaned over the center console and pulled Angie into a hug. This only made Angie cry harder, causing Tina to swell up with tears too. 

They both sat holding each other and crying until both of their tears stopped.

“Do you wanna tell when what’s going on?”

“I can’t sleep. Nightmares.”

“What are they about?”

Angie thought for a second biting the inside of her mouth. The nightmare of Tyler Adams walking through the tv started replaying in her head. Instead of answering, she shook her head and also shook away the bad picture. Her eyes would have gotten watery if they hadn’t run dry already.

“It’s okay if you aren’t ready. Would you be okay seeing a therapist? I think that would help you.” Angie shrugged. “Okay, well, I’ll set up an appointment. If you don’t like it, you can stop. How does that sound? But I think it would be good to go a few times before fully deciding.” Angie nodded. “I’ll call around today and find someone for you to see. Do you wanna hang out here a while? We can go for a walk or sit in the cafeteria. I know you don’t feel comfortable seeing B right now. And that’s perfectly okay.” Tina pushes Angie’s curls out of her face. “You just gotta tell me what’s going on so I can find a way to help you, okay?”

Angie wiped her face on the sleeve of her hoodie while sitting up. Tina cleaned herself up as well; she used the visor mirror to make sure she looked okay. “So, how are you feeling about hanging out for a while?”

“Yeah.” 

“Great.”

They walked circles around the hospital. The building was large enough to span a couple blocks, so it wasn’t that noticeable they had gone around seven times already. They didn’t talk much, but that didn’t matter. Tina wanted to have some sort of conversion since she didn’t get the time to hang out with her daughter that often, but respected Angie wasn’t up for it. Tina was just happy that she was able to spend time with Angie at that moment. Angie was enjoying the time too. She missed her Mama T when they were apart, but she could only ask her to visit so much. Their schedules aren’t very compatible. Usually, Angie visits Tina during a school holiday for a week, and that’s it. 

The walk was very refreshing for Angie. The cool winter breeze felt good against her irritated eyes and red cheeks. When they were completely behind the hospital, Tina got a text from Shane saying they were leaving soon and to meet in the cafeteria. 

Tina and Angie made their way to the cafeteria and didn’t see Alice or Shane, so they found a quiet place in the corner and got some food. Angie got a slice of pizza, and Tina got a salad. Angie was mostly quiet, only saying a few things if her mom asked a question. Soon after they were finished eating, Shane and Alice joined them. 

“How you guys doing now?” Shane asked, taking the chair next to Angie. 

“Better! Anything new with Bette?”

“No, she is the same as this morning. Angie, do you wanna go back with Shane and me or stay here until we are done at Dana’s?”

“Shane’s.”

“Okay, cool. We should probably go now then since Tess is working by herself right now.” 

“Okay” 

In the car ride back to Shane’s, Angie felt much better than she did on the way to see her mom. Tina suggested she watch a movie to keep her mind busy, so she put on The Princess Diaries when she got back. While the intro to the movie started, Angie dug through the nearly empty kitchen for a movie snack. 

How can a kitchen be this empty? She thought as she opened an empty cupboard after empty cupboard. She managed to find half a bag of tortilla chips and some shredded cheese in the fridge and thought nacho was as good as it was gonna get. When she returned to the movie, the mean girl commented on Anne Hathaway’s frizzy hair. Angie never got what was wrong with it and always thought it looked good.

Once she was fully settled into the film, Angie’s phone started going off. She ignored it, thinking it was just her mom checking in on her. Why get pulled back into real life when her mind was finally focused on something else? A few seconds later, it went off again, and again, and again. Maybe something happened? Angie picked up her phone and saw messages from friends and classmates saying they just heard about her mom. Angie cleared all the messages, put her phone on silent, and tried to watch the movie again.

Soon her phone was lighting up, and the buzzing was going wild. She unlocked her phone and saw messages from people she had never even talked to before. All the emotions she got under control earlier in the day came flooding back in. The room around her closed in as the buzzing played louder and louder in her ears. “Shut up!” she yelled, throwing her phone on the ground. This did nothing to stop the intrusive messages. 

Angie picked up the phone and tried turning it off, but the relentless notifications stopped made it impossible. Running out of options, Angie ran to the kitchen and filled a cup with water, and threw the phone in it. “Leave me alone!” The screen glitched a bit before turning off. 

“What’s going on?” Shane asked, standing right outside the kitchen, confused. 

Angie, now out of breath, looked at Shane, horrified that she saw that.

“Everything okay?”

“It wouldn’t stop.” Tears ran down Angie’s face.

“What wouldn’t stop?”

“The messages. I- I-...”

“It’s okay. Just take your time.”

“I was just trying not to think about it for a few hours… the messages… they wouldn’t stop.”

Shane was still confused, but she put enough together to feel bad and wanted to help. “It’s okay. Come here.” Shane pulled Angie into a tight hug. She saw the movie still playing on the tv. “Oh, the princess diaries! Do you want to finish watching it?” 

Shane knew Angie wasn’t going to talk out what just happened or what was going on, and the kid just wanted to try to get everything going on off her mind for a while. Forcing information out of her or making a big deal about the glass of water with an iPhone in it wasn’t going to make her feel any better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got through this chapter a little slower than I wanted because I was sick all last week but I hope you all enjoy it.
> 
> How are y'all liking the chapter length? I've been trying to make them around 2,500 words. Would you like them longer or are they good how they are?


	7. Chapter 7

After a second night of sleeping in a chair, Tina started to feel the consequences of it. Pain shot through her back as she slowly got up. She gently stretched out her back and paid close attention to Bette’s monitors, making sure nothing was out of the norm. Once her back was loose enough to move she went downstairs to the cafeteria for some breakfast. 

Tina got settled into a nice quiet table near a window and checked her emails as she ate a bowl of oatmeal. Most of the messages were from work; budget updates, scheduling conflicts, and other things that seemed mundane compared to everything else she had to deal with at the moment. After delegating all of her responsibilities to someone else Tina thought she should check on Angie. 

The call went straight to voicemail. “Hmm, that’s weird.” Tina thought out loud since Angie always has her phone on her. Tina tried again. Straight to voice mail. Tina tried Shane hoping she was still home. 

“Hey, are you still home? I wasn’t able to get a hold of Angie.”

“Hi- Uh, Angie isn’t doing too great.”

“I tried to call her but it went-"

“Yeah, she had a rough night and so her phone is broken. I guess all the kids at her school found out about Bette and they were all texting her- they meant well I think- It was just a lot for her so she drowned her phone.”

“Shit.”

“Everything else is okay. She is okay. I can take her to the store and get her a new one later today once I get some stuff done. But everything is going okay. I’ll have her call you when I see her.”

“Thank you, Shane. You have been so helpful and amazing thank you so much.”

“You’re family. We gotta watch out for each other. Hey, you can't just- Shit Tina, sorry, I have to go. But I will get the phone thing handled and have Ang call.”

“Okay bye-” The call ended before Tina could get her words out.

On the way back to Bette’s room Tina took a series of deep breaths to destress herself. She wanted to be as calm as she could when dealing or being around Bette. As she walked in the room a nurse was changing the bag that led to Bette’s feeding tube.

“Morning,” Tina said, trying to be polite. The nurse nodded back and Tina was thankful they weren’t up for a conversation. 

She took a seat in the corner of the room and resumed her search for a therapist for Angelica. All the ones she called the day before weren’t seeing new patients until May. Three months away. The whole thing seemed ridiculous to Tina, some people need help now not three months in from now. But if Angie needed to go to someone for relationship counseling Tina could find someone to see her later that same day. It was ridiculous. 

After a few hours of calling and begging Tina finally found someone that was qualified and available to see Angie the next day. Thank god, she thought to herself. Something off her ever-growing to-do list was finally accomplished. 

Just as she was having a little celebration in her head she got a call from Shane. “Hey. I finally got someone to agree to see Angie tomorrow would you be able to take her at two?”

“Hi, mom.”

“Oh, Angie! Are you okay? I heard last night was rough.”

“I’m fine.”

“I scheduled you an appointment to see a therapist tomorrow at two. I think that it would really help you to talk to someone who knows how to help with what you are going through.”

“I can drive.”

“I know you have your license now but I think-”

“I can drive.”

“Okay, I’ll text Shane the address and you can get it from her. I would go with you but-”

“I know”

“Your Mama B is doing good today. The doctors were talking about waking her up soon. If that goes well then they are gonna move her to another unit for people who don’t need as much supervision.”

“I gotta go.”

“Oh okay, bye sweetie, I love you.”

“Love you.”

Even though the call didn’t go too bad Tina still felt horrible when Angie hung up. She knew that she should be there for Angie more but she couldn’t get herself to leave the hospital grounds, and Angie, she could barely stand to be anywhere near the hospital. Even though she couldn’t do anything to change their circumstances Tina felt like she was failing as a mother yet again. 

Tina sat looking at Bette lying in the hospital bed. She started to think about how it all went wrong. When the breaking point finally happened. Was it when she got caught cheating or was it before or after that. Tina thought about that night and watched in replay in her head like some sort of movie. 

~~  
Bette got on her flight to Canada with hope in her heart she could repair all the fighting she and Tina had done the past few days. They had been fighting for weeks and made up but it picked back up the past few days. Bette didn’t even know what they were fighting about at this point. Everything just had to be an argument now. 

After she got off the plane she headed to a cute little flower shop that she and Tina always visit when they are together there. She saw a beautiful bouquet of orange carnations and knew she had to get them for Tina. They weren’t your average red roses and that is why Tina would love them.

The rest of the way to Tina’s apartment Bette practiced what she would say to Tina. I’m sorry for picking fights with you. I know you are under a lot of stress right now. That didn’t sound the way she wanted it to. I think we need to reconnect. I’m sorry for making everything harder on you. Better but she still didn’t know. 

Tina watched the last shot of the day half-asleep even though it was only five in the evening. She had been on set for nearly twelve hours and was ready to go home. She and Bette stayed up the previous night arguing about who knows what at this point, Tina was too tired to keep track. Maybe it had to do with Angie, or perhaps it was something Tina forgot to do, who knows? The little attention left Tina had was being used up by the assistant director, Elise, with who she had been having an affair. She was waiting for the day to be over so she could fuck away some of her stress. Elise didn’t have any qualities that Tina wanted in a relationship. Tina didn’t even really like Elise all that much, but she was there, and she was one of the few lesbians on set and that was down with no strings attached. 

When the director let everyone go for the day, Tina quickly went home to her apartment; it wasn’t anything too fancy but enough to get by while she had to be away from her real home in New York. Elise arrived shortly after Tina, and the two went straight into making out on the couch. Soon most of their clothes were thrown on the floor.

Bette opened the door to the apartment and was surprised that there were no lights on and thought Tina wasn’t back yet. Then she heard sounds coming from near the couch. Bette looked over to find Tina being fucked by some woman on the ground. Tina looked up when Bette gasped and was horrified to see her. 

“Bette” was all Tina could manage to say as she shoved Elise off of her. Bette stared back at her, not knowing what to say or do. 

A few awkward moments passed before Elise broke the silence, “We were kinda in the middle of this, so can you come back another time?”

“No.” Tina almost whispered with her eyes locked with Bette’s.

“Why?”

“Because I’m her wife,” Bette said coldly with her eyes still locked with Tina’s.

“Oh shit.” 

Elise quickly put her clothes back on while Tina and Bette watched frozen where there were. Tina used her arms to cover her bare chest and braced herself for the storm of Bette that was coming her way the second her fling left. To Tina’s surprise, when Elise left, Bette didn’t yell or scream. She didn’t say anything. She moved to the couch but continued to stay silent, which scared Tina even more. 

“You aren’t going to say anything?” 

Bette clenched the bouquet in her hands, trying her hardest not to blow up. A few tears fell down her face, but she quickly wiped them away and refused even to look Tina’s way. 

“Bette?”

“I need a second.” 

The couple sat in silence for a long time. It felt like an eternity to Tina; she observed Bette knowing she could go off at any second. After a bit more time passed, Tina realized Bette wasn’t going to react in any big way she thought she would. She put her clothes back on and sat on the couch next to Bette. 

“Bette?”

“I’m trying my hardest not to just scream right now. So I just need a second because I know that isn’t going to help anything, and I came here to try and fix our marriage.”

“Do you still want to?”

“Obviously, Tina. Otherwise, I would have walked out the door when I saw that woman on top of you-” Bette felt herself getting snappy, so she shook her head while she recollected herself. “For us to work out, we need to talk through this, so I am going to try to stay as calm as I can. But this isn’t easy.”

“I know, and I’m sorry.” Tina put her hand on Bette’s Leg, but she quickly pulled away.

“Don’t.”

They sat in silence again. 

“How long have you been sleeping with her?”

“Maybe three weeks.

“Is it a sex thing, or do you have real-”

“It was just sex. There is- was, nothing romantic about it, and I didn’t have any feelings involved in it.”

“If it was just about sex, then why?”

“I don’t know.”

“Is it because she is younger? That you find her more attractive than me? Was it a convenience thing? Were you lonely? I don’t understand how you don’t know. There are a hundred different reasons to sleep with someone, I’m just asking for one.” She paused. “If you truly don’t know why you slept with her, then we have bigger issues.”

“I guess I was lonely and sad, and she was there.”

“Tina.”

“What you wanted an answer, I gave you an answer.”

“I’m not trying to argue with you over it or start something, but you need to be honest with your feelings and what happened, or this isn’t going to work. The ‘I guess’ responses are just a way of avoiding responsibility. I already said I want to talk this out with you, so you don’t have to try and hide what happened. I want the truth because that is what is going to get us through this.” 

“Okay. I slept with her because I was sad and lonely, and we weren’t doing great, and there isn’t anyone to talk to about it here. It started when we had that big fight over me not being there for Angie’s middle school graduation. I felt like shit and got really really drunk, and Elise was at the bar, and things kinda just happened. It felt nice blowing off steam with her, so we made it a casual thing. We didn’t even really talk or anything; I actually find her kind of annoying at work, but that’s the whole truth.” 

“Thank you.” 

Long pause

“What are you thinking about?”

“All the different ways I can try to forgive you. All the questions I am scared to ask. Some, I don’t know if I want to be answered.”

“What questions?”

“Were you going to tell me?”

“When it first happened, I thought about calling you right after and hoped that you would forgive me and we could work it out. But then I was scared, and that fear turned into more cheating, and it was just a circle of that.”

“Well then, were you ever going to tell me? Like when you came back home or if I came to visit.”

“Probably not. But I think that was more of me being a coward than anything.”

“Did you want me to catch you?”

“I mean, yeah, this is a huge relief. But this isn’t how I wanted you to find out, I was hoping you would find a text, or when I was unpacking when I got home, you would find something. But I was scared you would explode, I really thought you would explode and want nothing to do with me and-”

“Do you still want to be with me?”

“Bette, I love you.”

Bette put the flowers down on the couch and stood up.

“What?” 

“Your not answer answered my question.”

Bette walked to the door with Tina calling after her, but she ignored it. “Bette, stop!” Tina blocked the door with her body.

“What do you want me to do, Tina? You don’t want to be with me anymore, and I love you too much to force you to be in this relationship if you are unhappy in it.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Then what is it?”

“It’s not that I don’t want to be with you, or that I don’t love you because I do. I love you so much.” Tina cupped Bette’s face. “It’s I don’t know who I am anymore, I’m lost. I don’t know who I’m becoming, because I never wanted to hurt you, but I did, and I hate that. I feel like I can’t control who I am or what I do anymore.”

“If that’s the problem, T, we can work on it. Go to therapy again, try new things. If you want to take a break from work for a while, you can, or if you want me to, I will. I just want you to be happy, us to be happy.”

“I don’t know. I feel like I need to work through this myself.”

“Tina, I can help.”

“I know.” Tina took in a deep breath. “And I know what it could mean for us if I do this alone. But I have to.”

Bette stepped away and turned her back to Tina so she couldn’t see her crying, even though it was apparent. After a few minutes, she wiped away her tears and turned around. “Okay, how about this. You are supposed to come home in two months. I’ll go back home and give you your space, and you are free to do whatever you want to do for these two months. Then when you come back, you tell me your final decision, but if you choose to stay, I don’t want to hear about anything that happened.” 

“Bette.”

“This is my way of trying to give you what you need without losing you.” 

“What if dragging on like this only makes it worse? I don’t want you worrying about what I may or may not be doing for two months!”

“But what if this keeps up together? Then it would be worth it! If two months of you having your own life and not really being mine means that I can live the rest of my life happy with you, then I will be just fine.”

“But what if it’s not worth it? What if I come home and choose to leave still?”

“Then you will be free and able to find yourself then. And if you end up happy, then it will still be worth it to me because I love you, I just want you to be happy.” 

“Okay, fine. But stay with me tonight.”

“Tina, I don’t know.”

“Why not?’

“If I don’t let go and let you do this now, I don’t know if I will be able to.”

“Please.”

Tina softly kissed Bette. She pulled away slightly, leaving their foreheads together. “I want to, but I can’t.” Tina kissed her again, and Bette didn’t pull away but gave in. 

“Stay.” 

Bette nodded her head, yes, and Tina led them to the bedroom. They took their time and made sure to appreciate every second and every little feeling of each other, knowing this could be their last time together. 

The next morning when Tina woke up, Bette was missing from the bed. Tina hoped she was just in the kitchen or bathroom but knew she had left. She got up to look for Bette anyway, but instead, she found the orange carnations in a vase on the counter with a note.

~~ 

Back in the hospital room, Tina remembered the note. She would never tell anyone but she always kept that goodbye letter in her purse, in one of the hidden little pockets inside of the bag so no one would ever find it. Tears welled up in her eyes as she pulled it out. 

‘Tina,  
I’m sorry I left without saying goodbye, but I know neither one of us would be able to let go once the time came. You may not have noticed yet, but I took all my things out of the closet and brought them with me back to New York in case you end up sharing your home with someone. I rather do it now than find out you are seeing someone when you ship my stuff back or ask me to come to get it. I think it would be best to cut our communication entirely or keep it very limited so you can have your full autonomy. We should only talk if it is absolutely necessary or is about Angie.  
I won’t tell Angie what’s going on. That we are taking a break or whatever this is. Partly because I don’t know how to explain what this is, and I think we should talk about issues like a separation together as a family if it comes to that. I don’t expect you to stop talking to Angie, but I will cover for you if you need space from both of us. We can talk over that later if you want.  
I wanted to tell you this in person, but I didn’t know how to get the words out without it sounding like I was trying to manipulate or control your decision, so I’m going to tell you through writing. You are my person, the one true love I was meant to have in this life. You are a part of me, and without you, I don’t think I could ever be whole again. But I know you have to go through things alone, experience, and find yourself without me, so I have to let you go. Because If you aren’t happy and fulfilled, I can’t be happy and fulfilled. I rather see you truly happy with someone else than watch you fall apart with me. Just know no matter what if we didn’t work out, and you changed your mind, I would take you back in a heartbeat. I will always be here if you ever want to come back. I know you haven’t even started your two months by yourself, but I have a feeling it won’t end with me in your life.

Love you always, Bette

Tina fully broke down as she reread the last paragraph over and over. That was the beginning of the end. Bette even saw that it was basically over. Tina wondered how she could be so blind. Even though it was ultimately her decision Tina thought she and Bette would figure out a way to make it all work and go back to what they had. She knew Bette loved her with every fiber in her body even if she didn’t know how to show it sometimes. 

Shane and Alice came into the room surprising Tina. “Woah, you scared me. I thought you guys were busy all day.”

“It’s like seven-thirty.”

“It’s that late already? I guess I just lost track of time, how did everything go with Ange?”

“Are you alright? You seem a little shaken up.” Shane asked taking the next seat closest to Bette.

“What’s that?” Alice asked pointing to the paper in Tina’s hand.

“Oh, this is nothing.” 

Alice peeked over her shoulder seeing a handwritten letter. “Doesn’t look like nothing.”

“Fine. It’s a letter from Bette. A goodbye letter. I like to read it when I’m feeling a certain way, it’s comforting.”

“A goodbye letter is comforting? Can I read it?”

“It’s private.”

“Oh, it’s juicy.”

“No, it’s just private.” Tina put the letter back in its envelope and into her purse. “It’s really personal.” Alice and Shane looked at each other. “It’s from the night Bette caught me cheating okay. So yes it is juicy, and it hurts but it is also comforting especially right now with all this going on. I’m going to go get a coffee or something- I’ll be back… In a bit I guess.” With that, Tina stormed out of the room.

“Nice going, Al.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it's been over a month. hope this 3500 word update makes up for it. I got very much into the haunting of bly manor and ended up starting a fic of that. If you haven't watched it yet I highly suggest you do so.
> 
> Anyways Merry Christmas! Hope yall enjoy the update


	8. Chapter 8

Angie tapped her foot repeatedly against the metal chair she so desperate didn’t want to be in. Sure everyone was right, and she probably did need therapy but she didn’t want to talk about any of it. She read off each of the books that filled the shelf on the wall in her head in an attempt to keep her own mind distracted. 

“Angelica, this doesn’t really work unless you talk to me.”

“It’s Angie.”

“Okay, Angie, if you aren’t ready to talk about what you are dealing with you then why don’t you start with something small. Like what did you do today?”

“I woke up, ate some eggos, and watched tv until it was time to come here.”

“What did you watch?”

“I don’t know I wasn’t really paying attention.”

“What were you thinking about that distracted you?”

“I never said I was distracted from my thoughts, and if I was that isn’t small talk anymore.” Angie snapped. She surprised herself with how cold she was being with a stranger. 

“You’re right, I’m sorry for trying to pry we can take things as slowly as you need. And Angie, your mom told me why you are starting sessions with me, if reliving that experience is what you are scared of you don’t have to talk about that night yet if you don’t want to.”

“I don’t want to talk about it. Any of it. I’m just here to make things easier for Mama T.”

“Would it make you more comfortable if Mama T sat in on our meetings?”

“No, she wouldn’t come anyways. Not that she wouldn’t want to- Right now she is having a hard time too, she won’t leave the hospital. It’s been four days. She has been in LA for four days and barely even seen me because I can’t stand to be in that hospital.”

“I’m sure it is difficult to not have the comfort from either of your moms in such a stressful time. Is there anyone you have been able to get any comfort or relief from?”

“Right now I am staying with my mom’s good friend. Shane is great but it’s not the same as having one of my moms there.”

“Have you talked to any of your friends about what is going on?”

“Not really. But because Mama B is a public figure when the news came out I got a bunch of messages from everyone from school.”

“How did it feel knowing your friends care-”

“They don’t care. Most of the messages were from people I don’t even talk to. I got so… I dunked my phone in water because I couldn’t deal with all the questions anymore.”

“We will come back to your phone. But everything surrounding the accident is just bottled up?”

“I guess.”

“I’m going to assign you some homework. You okay with that?” Angie shrugged. “It seems like you are trying to repress everything that is going on, even while you are still living through it. Which is completely normal for someone going through what you are going through. Sometimes it’s good to get your feelings out even if you aren't talking about it with another person. Until you are fully comfortable talking to me I want you to write down any feeling you have surrounding either of your moms. That could mean how you currently feel about your Mama B and her condition or how you feel about Mama T not being able to be with you during all of this. You can even write about your feelings toward the hospital itself since that is a barrier you have right now.”

“I guess that doesn’t sound too hard.” 

“Oh, I have one last question before our time is up. Are you doing school right now?”

“No. All my teachers are giving me a break and said they will work with me once I am able to do work.”

“That’s nice.”

“It’s bullshit. I know they are only saying that because Mama T told them to. I wanted to go back to school but-” Angie froze remembering why she didn’t go back home to get her school stuff. 

“What was that?”

“Nothing.” Angie looked at the clock on the wall, “Looks like time is up.”

“I have some time if you have something you need to get out.”

“I’ll see you next session,” Angie said as she walked out of the office.

She quickly ran to Bette’s car, which she drove to the appointment. When she turned on the car Bette’s CD of all her favorite songs started playing. Angie always gave her mom crap for still using CDs but was somewhat grateful to have something of Bette’s with her. As the song continued Angie broke down, why couldn’t she just talk to the therapist? She clearly had a lot to talk about but she couldn’t let all her feelings leave her mouth.

As she sat in the car waiting for the tears to subside a thought hit her. Was she being tough as a coping mechanism or was she doing it for her mom who could fall apart at any second now? 

Meanwhile, at the hospital, Tina was pacing back and forth in Bette’s room as Dr.Leon started to wake Bette up. The nurses explained that Bette was only being taken off of the sedatives and it could take over a day for Bette to fully regain consciousness. All Tina heard was that she couldn’t leave the room for a second in case Bette woke up within the next day. 

As the nurses tried to explain more of Bette’s current condition Angie called Tina. “Sorry, it’s my daughter. I have to answer.” One of the nurses gave Tina an annoyed look after getting cut off. “The one who was there when Bette was shot.” Tina glared back.

“Hey Ange, what’s up?”

“I’m on my way home. Just wanted to check-in.”

“Right! How was your appointment? Did they seem okay?”

“I guess.”

Tina could tell Angie didn’t make much progress with her first session. “Were you able to talk about anything?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay, that’s fine.” Tina sat down in the corner to keep out of the way. “Do you want to know how your mom is doing?”

“I- Sure.” She hated the progress reports but knew it helped T to talk about it. 

“Well they are taking her off the sedatives right now, but she probably won’t wake up for a while. I know you don’t want to see her how she is right now but when she wakes up you could come visit if you wanted.”

“Maybe.”

“She is going to be okay. She just needs time.”

“Yeah.” Angie took a deep breath. “I just got to Shanes so I’m gonna go.” A lie. 

“Oh, okay, well call me later. Bye, I love you.” Tina waited for Angie to say it back but instead, she just heard the tone of the phone call ending. 

When the nurse realized Tina was done with her call they continued telling her Bette’s status. She tried desperately to listen to what they were saying but all she could think about was Angie and how terrible it was that she couldn’t be there for her daughter who was clearly struggling. Why did part of their coping have to be completely opposite of the other?

“I’m sorry, I’m getting a little overwhelmed right now. Would it be alright if you came back later and explained it to me?”

A little annoyed, yet also understanding, the nurses left the room shortly after the doctor. Leaving Tina alone with Better and her own thoughts. Completely exhausted she fell asleep in her chair.

~~~~

Bette counted down the days for Tina’s return home, quite literally, a small calendar hung on her bathroom wall with March tenth circled with ‘TINA HOME’ written in big red letters. And she was finally able to cross it off.

The week leading up to the big return Bette cleaned their entire home at least three times and overreacted anytime Angie left a single thing out of place. 

“Angelica! Please come get your shoes out of the entryway. I’ve already cleaned this area three times. I don’t understand why it is so hard to put your shoes in the closet.”

“I’m sorry mom, my hands were full when I came in.”

“Well, my hands are full all the time and you don’t see my shoes out here, do you? I think that is a pretty pathetic excuse for not cleaning up after yourself.” Angie looked at Bette a little hurt that she was being harsh. “I’m sorry, I’m just a little stressed out. Mama T is coming back today and I just want everything to be perfect for her.” Just mentioning Tina put a smile back on Bette’s face.

“Oh, that’s today? When will she be here?” Angie asked excitedly while running away to put away her shoes.

Bette checked her watch. “Within the next hour. I would have picked her up from the airport but she insisted on taking a cab.” Bette swallowed hard knowing that could mean bad news. Her phone buzzed, “Oh she is just a block away!” Bette ran off to pour herself a glass of wine to calm her nerves.

She heard Tina come in when Angie called out for her. When Bette returned to the entryway she saw Tina hugging their daughter. She looked happy to be back. Bette smiled at Tina hoping she was ready to move back home and go back to the way things were, but when they locked eyes all the light drained from her face and she gave Bette a blank look. Even though it was subtle Bette got the message. 

To not make things weird, Tina greeted Bette and pulled her into a tight hug. “Hi babe.”

“Well?” Bette whispered in her ear. 

“Not now.” Tina responded before breaking away and putting her attention back on Angie.

Bette quickly excused herself and locked herself in her bathroom before Angie could see her upset. Bette knew this was the probable outcome but still everyday she hoped that Tina would come home and things would go back to normal and they could live their happy lives. 

An uncomfortable energy filled the air as the family ate dinner. Bette hardly acknowledged Tina’s presens at all. Only when she was asked a direct question did she contribute to any conversation. Angie picked up on the tone of the room but didn’t say anything. It wasn’t unusual for her moms to be having some sort of fight at dinner. Although she could tell this was different. It was quite and secretive.

The second Bette was done with her food she left the table and went to her room. Tina sighed while making eye contact with Angie. 

“What’s going on with you guys?”

“Nothing.” Tina set down her fork. “I’m gonna go check on her.”

“I’m not dumb. Mama B gets mad a lot but she never acts like that. The last two months she has been so uptight and then today she is-”

“We’ll talk later, okay?”

“What does that mean?”

“We’ll talk later, as a whole family.”

Angie was confused about what that was supposed to mean. Was her moms getting divorced? She was confused about everything really. Bette being so excited earlier and so very anal about everything being perfect for Mama T just to be upset when she came home. 

In Bette and Tina’s bedroom Tina found Bette sitting on the floor against their bed. At first she didn’t say anything, just sat down next to her.

“I’m sorry.”

Bette scoffed before looking at Tina. “You’re sorry?”

“Yeah, putting you through this. The waiting. Angie said you’ve been tense since we last saw eachother- I didn’t want you to- I- Fuck!” Tina ran her hands through her hair. “I don’t know how to-”

“Say you want a divorce?” Bette said coldly, keeping her eyes straight forward. 

“I don’t know what I want Bette. I thought the time apart would help me figure it out but I still don’t know.” 

“So what does that mean for us?” 

“I don’t know? I just need more time.”

“Even though it feels like shit I’ll wait. I don’t want to force you to be with me, but I don’t want to let you go.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to be with you-”

“Then what is it Tina?”

“I don’t know!” Tina surprised herself with her yelling. “I- I’m sorry. I still love you, I just need space.” Bette shook her head. “What?”

“You can’t say that.”

“Say what?”

“That you can’t be with me right now but you still love me and want me!”

“Why not? That’s how I feel.”

“It’s fucked up! You tell me you can’t be with me but give me enough to hang around for you which only makes it worse. I already said I would wait. You don’t have to make it harder.” Bette got up and left. 

“Bette, can we please talk it out right now. I promise it has nothing to do with you- I-” Tina cut herself off.

Bette stood in the doorway with her arms crossed, using all the energy she had to not yell or cry. The two stood staring at each other for a while until one of them finally got the gall to speak. 

“You know I’ve struggled in knowing who I am. I just need more time to do that. We’ve been together for so long and I never got a chance to learn who I am, not who I connected to.”

“I know, but I thought you figured it out the last time we broke up. You found your career in the movie industry, you were doing great- we were doing great. I just don’t understand what changed.”

“It’s not anything you did. I’ve always been lost and melted into whoever I’m with.”

“What does that mean? Are you implying that you are unhappy because of me? Our entire life is made up of what you wanted. Ever since we got married I’ve been so scared to lose you again and have just gone along with anything that you wanted. We moved our entire lives across the country because you got a job here! Everything has always been for you, I just don’t get it.” Bette stopped herself before she said something she couldn’t take back. 

“What? I can tell something else is on your mind.” Bette shook her head. “One of the many benefits of being together for so long is that I know how to read you. I know you want to say more.”

“No. You need more time- space. Fine, we can tell Angie you hopped onto another movie at the last second and have to go away again. But I’m not lying to her about it, you have to tell her. But I do want to try to go to couples counseling again. The only way we are going to make it out of this together is if we talk through it all. It’s probably best to do that with a neutral party present.” 

“Bette.”

“I’ll go stay at a hotel tonight so you can have some time with Angelica before you leave.”

“Bette.”

“Maybe I’ll so visit Shane and Alice to give you a few days-”

“Bette.”

“I’m trying to not make a huge deal out of this. The only way I can deal with this right now is to think about everything technically.”

“I don’t want you to leave tonight.”

“I can’t stay if you want me to be okay with all of this.” Bette bit the inside of her cheek. “Do you still have the letter I left you?” Tina nodded. “I guess if you miss me just reread it.” Bette fake smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the long delay. I have the next couple chapters mapped out so I should get those out soonish. 
> 
> I made a playlist that reminds me of Tina and Bette if anyone is interested here's the link  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2gUDfIEWZsprLIYZTl4NUG?si=jZgM_90UTSWqPbzdkw3z7A


End file.
